The arrival of another baby in the family is a great joy. But for an older child, it can become a cause of jealousy and confusion. That is why your child should be prepared in advance for the birth of a brother or sister.
Before the baby is born
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Be sure to tell your child when the new family member will be born. Do not say "In eight months" – it is hard for a child to handle such amounts of time. Link the expected time of birth to the nearest event – New Year or the arrival of spring. This will make it easier for them to understand.
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Talk to your child about small babies in general. Be sure to mention that they do not start running, talking and playing football right away. At first, the baby will just sleep, eat and cry.
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In your own words, explain how a little baby grows and develops. Share memories of your child's own birth, as well as how you waited for them and prepared for their arrival at home.
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Let your child choose the new wallpaper for the nursery, the crib, the toys and the stroller. Then the child will understand that they are seen as a grown-up and responsible member of the family. If you plan to use your older child's bed and other things, buy them new furniture in advance.
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Decide who will help you with your older child while you are in the maternity hospital and when you become busier with the newborn. If you plan to send your child to kindergarten, start preparing them for this a couple of months before the baby arrives.
After the baby is born
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When mom comes home from the maternity hospital with the baby, arrange a small celebration for dad and the older child. The arrival of a new family member should be seen as a happy event.
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Do not focus on how the baby has changed the life of the older brother or sister. If you cannot go for your usual walk because the baby needs to be fed, do not say that it is because of the baby. That way, the brother or sister will not have extra reasons to resent the new addition to the family.
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Give your older child new "grown-up" privileges – for example, being allowed to go to bed half an hour later. But hold off on introducing any additional restrictions.
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Do not try to keep the house sterile-clean and silent. A two- or three-year-old child cannot behave perfectly, and a baby needs to get used to household sounds.
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If you are busy with your older child and the younger one needs attention at that moment, do not drop what you are doing that very second. Your firstborn needs to know that their activities are still important to mom.
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Be sure to let the older brother or sister take part in all the care of the younger one: bathing, changing diapers, feeding and walks. Tell your child how important their attention is for the baby. Encourage communication between the children in every way.
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In phone conversations and when talking with guests, be sure to praise your older child, and use the word "we" more often: we went for a walk, we gave a bath, we did it. Children listen closely to adult conversations and draw simple but far-reaching conclusions about how their parents speak of them.
The most important thing
Prepare your child for the arrival of a brother or sister in advance. Let them take part in all the preparations and encourage any attention they show to the baby.
